December 2021

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By Shell Phelps

As women, we strive to find our voice, whether it’s with our family or in our professional careers. We are emotional beings who just want to be heard. There are times we feel compassion and offer a softer and gentler whisper in conversations with other women because we often speak in a kinder language behind the curtains. We steal away moments to connect and to stay uplifted. 

In professional settings, we must mask our feminine whispers, as they may be mistaken for weakness and the inability to be a successful leader. Career women who have stronger tones, louder voices, and bolder statements are often seen as having tough exteriors. They can be labeled as difficult or hard to deal instead of being seen as brave. These women are often envied by other women. 

Many of these powerful professional women still have families to raise and have the same battle of finding a healthy work-life blend. At the end of the day, women get their deep emotional connections through other women. Even those who are married, have long-term partners, or are in strong committed relationships seek validation through our feminine way of communicating.

The best approach to offer a woman when she needs a moment to echo her emotional state, feels overwhelmed, or raises her voice because she feels she has something valuable to share is to listen. That’s all you have to do!

The easiest and most effective part of communication is the ability to listen. Women just want to be heard and to feel understood. Listening is a meaningful way to communicate, even if your response is non-verbal. Offering a sincere smile, nod, or eye connection to acknowledge your listening is powerful. 

The most crucial element to communication by far is truly listening without formulating a response or critiquing the content of someone else’s information. Listening allows the ability to absorb 100% of the message being sent. It’s vital in all conversations. 

If you’re listening to anything at less than 100% capacity, you’re receiving only a partial message. This leaves room for plenty of misunderstandings. Be a good listener — it’s that simple. 

Listening is pivotal to having any type of successful relationship. It’s the driving force of how you interact in your daily life. As others strive to convey their message in the hope that they’re sending it accurately, give them your full attention. The content and the method of their delivery may not always be desirable, but the person should be considered heavily. Listening is the other side of sharing and connecting. 

Be part of productive conversations. Consider their thoughts before you turn your response into a deliverable message. Listen to your internal unspoken voice, as these are the whispers in the moment that can echo through a lifetime; these might be the words the receiver “hears.” 

The tone doesn’t need to be loud or overpowering to be heard; it needs to contain the right information at the right time. A declaration needs to be meaningful to be powerful. A mindful whisper, or rather a well-thought-out exchange, can overpower a boisterous blast of BS. These are the messages that echo back in a subtle whisper throughout a lifetime, and the ones that are likely to be passed on. 

Be intentional when communicating. This is such a monumental craft that everyone should devote the attention it deserves in honor of its importance. If you care about the outcome of your interaction, be conscious of your intent and let their whispers echo.


Shell Phelps is a recognized SHRM-Certified HR Consultant, award-winning author, speaker, and Co-founder of Phelps Strategies, where she is a distinguished thought leader coach. She holds a Masters in Counseling Psychology and over 21 years of HR experience. Shell focuses on solution-based strategies to empower her clients with leadership development strategies.  She is the author of the popular book The Big Bliss Blueprint: 100 Little Thoughts to Build Positive Life Changes. 



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