By: Maria Sylvester
All that we are is a result of what we have thought. ~Buddha
Time to rewrite the script, I remind coaching clients who come feeling stuck, frustrated, and unable to move their lives forward. Often we have clear goals and aspirations, plans and grand intentions. We strive toward these dreams while at the same time subconsciously believing we are “not good enough,” “unworthy,” “invisible,” “going to be rejected,” or any number of negative tales we spin about ourselves. We are likely to sabotage our endeavors unless we change such negative subconscious chatter. Until the subconscious becomes conscious and is altered, we are preprogrammed to continue collecting evidence to support our false stories or limiting beliefs. The result: we hit a wall, feel helpless, and act in dysfunctional ways, often confused about why our ship always seems to be sinking.
I love to reassure my coaching clients that worlds of possibility and life-inspiring changes await, if one can first identify and then take a firm stand against the negative thoughts which perpetuate these crazy little stories we’ve often lugged around since childhood. So, what is your three- or four-word story? It will be a simple story because that is how we made sense of whatever happened to us in childhood, at a time when we aren’t capable of making abstract meaning out of traumas. Instead, we concluded something was wrong with us, and believe it as fact.
To identify your old story, think about a time when you’ve felt really disappointed. It is especially at times of disappointment that we are inclined to slip into a negative story. You may even feel younger in that moment, perhaps the age you were when you got confused about your worth. For example, you might think: “See, I wasn’t chosen for the position because I’m just not ______.” We fill in the blank, literally and figuratively; your blank could be “good enough,” or “valuable,” or something else. And the act of talking to yourself in this fashion is guaranteed to keep you stuck, limiting what you can create and attract into your life.
Once you are aware of what dark path you tend to go down to explain reality, you then have the option, because your thoughts are now conscious, of taking a firm, dare I say, ferocious stand against your negative programming. Time to reset! Some of the most powerful, moving moments in my coaching practice occur when I’m able to help clients let go of false beliefs they’ve been carrying, helping them live, instead, from the truth of who they are. For when we live from our truth, we become magnetic! We step into and radiate our essence. We stand taller, talk more confidently, trust ourselves more deeply, and feel more alive and fully expressed.
So, how does one transform deeply-entrenched negative beliefs that have come to feel like core truths? You must go back to honoring yourself. Be committed to being mindful of your thoughts, clearing away the limiting ones and embracing your authentic self. For thoughts are just energy, and you can always change your energy!
Our reality and our perceptions are created by what we attend to. Attention can either reinforce what we want, or what we don’t want. Reset your negative story, focusing instead on what is true about yourself. For instance, begin by embracing the fact that at your core, your very essence is enough. You were born perfect and pure, simply by existing. Your authentic self is rich in potential, skills, beauty, power, and love! If you can accept this reality, recognizing your strengths and appreciating yourself from a caring place, you will no longer behave in ways that continue collecting evidence for negative self-beliefs. As you integrate positive truths about yourself, how you act and show up in life changes dramatically for the better. You begin having different results. You become magnetic, and your goals, plans, and dreams will flow fully into glorious manifestations. So, go ahead and let go of that old story!
In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. ~Deepak Chopra